All aboard the Crazy Train

(Mr. Osbourne’s dulcet tones provided for to set the mood. I’d have posted something officially sponsored like a VEVO video or something, but oddly that doesn’t come up as easily.)

So… the last year since anyone’s heard from me on here has been fun!

We’ll I’ll have to check. Maybe I did get in a post or two for 2014, I haven’t checked the dates yet. Rate around the start of 2014 instead of enjoying new year celebrations I got to enjoy the accommodations of an ER, and subsequently a number of doctor’s offices. As for what’s wrong with me… I have no clue, at least not specifically. I have a number of different things wrong with my spine, not just one thing, and the constant explanation from doctors I get is “Well this is bad but it shouldn’t be so bad to explain the pain your in” and a lot of general answers that amount to the usual medical line of “Fuck if I know. Go bug someone else.” Did I mention the pain? Um, yeah. A lot of pain. Pain to the point I’m taking state controlled narcotics and I still have the occasional day when walking from one room to the next in my tiny little apartment sends pain shooting up my spine, or at the least I can’t cook a meal without the same shooting up my arm. My current suspicion is that all the different list of separate spinal conditions (there’s about three or four, depending on which doctor I’m talking to) in and of themselves cause this, and I just need to find a doctor who’s willing to put that together so I can get on with life, even if it’s a very limited life.

[Side note for anyone thinking of commenting along the lines of ‘Maybe it’s ___’ or ‘Why don’t you try this ___’, do not do so. I try very hard to be patient with people who think they mean while, but after about five minutes it just becomes self righteous and annoying for a number of reason already explained in about a billion places on the net which I don’t feel the need to personally add to. So if anyone does post any comments like that, I don’t care if you even happen to be an MD, I’m deleting them because I didn’t ask for medical advice.]

So that more or less sums up 2014 for me. I’ve been putting off writing and many other things because I keep telling myself I’ll get back onto once I’ve stabilized things. I mean hell, my house still looks like I just moved in back in November of 2013. Half because while I’ve stabilized means of paying for rent, food, and basic utilities, and half because I’m physically unable to be physically active for more than maybe ten fifteen minutes at a time. On a good day. Kinda awkward to be writing about life, the universe, and all that divine jazz when you still haven’t managed to clean up your own house. Even if there’s good reason for it. Stabilizing things, just isn’t happening.

Recognizing that, I’m going to take a crack at posting every now and then and we’ll see how it goes. I’m also hoping to try and re-work the typical WordPress format with some of the tools already here. Get things off of the ‘all the posts in one never ending column’ format and do something crazy like set up a page that organizes the posts that are less time sensitive and contain more frequently useful information or stories. Stuff like that. Also going to go back and do a lot of editing and in some cases out right deleting. The last year has also taught me a lot about who I do and do not want to be dealing with. Particularly a major kick in the head that this whole looking for someone who’s somehow older/wiser/more knowledgeable/more skilled than I am thing? I should have left that idea behind me a long time ago. Every time I pursue that route I just end up tangled up with people who more often than not have more work to do getting their lives in order than I do. At best. At worst it’s people with aggressive and harmful agenda’s to push justified by their somehow perfect comprehension of the myriad Divine wills. Either way: I’m done.

With that amusing little preamble… on with take two!

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2 responses to “All aboard the Crazy Train

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